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Added: April 15 2006       Rating: 3.00     Rate It     Hits: 


"Bill Clinton's official portrait was unveiled at the White House yesterday. Don't kid yourself, there's already trouble. Yesterday, Clinton's portrait was caught hitting on Dolly Madison's portrait." óDavid Letterman


"Yesterday at a White House ceremony, the official portrait of President Clinton was unveiled. Apparently, Clinton's portrait is so realistic that Hillary immediately started yelling at it." óConan O'Brien


S"Yesterday at the White House they unveiled the official portrait of Bill Clinton. It's very classy. It's on black velvet." óJay Leno


"The Bushes hosted their predecessors at the White House yesterday, for the official unveiling of Bill and Hillary Clinton's White House portraits. The occasion moved the current commander in chief to a rare show of gracious bi-partisanship. ... Bush then handed the mic over to Clinton. It's been a long time since this skilled orator spoke in the White House. I'm sure he's got some profound words to share ... [clip of Clinton: 'All those kind and generous things you said, made me feel like I was a pickle stepping into history.'] ... Uhhh, I don't get that at all. As a matter fact, if I remember correctly, your pickle's already stepped into history." óJon Stewart


"In a recent interview, John Kerry was asked to describe his wife in three words. Not surprisingly, Kerry responded, 'My meal ticket.'" óConan O'Brien


"Former President George Bush marked his 80th birthday by jumping out of a plane. In a related story, O.J. Simpson marked the 10th anniversary of the murders by jumping out of the bushes." óJay Leno


"Rush Limbaugh and his third wife has broken up. Apparently, she came home early and found him with their pharmacist." óJay Leno


"Former President Bush, to celebrate his 80th birthday, jumped out of an airplane. And if you've seen the polls, you know he's not the only Bush in freefall." óDavid Letterman


"Former President Bush parachuted with an Army Ranger holding him so he wouldn't get hurt on his 80th birthday. This is the same method they use when his son rides a bike." óCraig Kilborn


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